Thursday, July 12, 2007

The Man in My Life....

Rather a catching title eh ;) lol.. well yeh he has till now been the only man in my life. Still is, but I dunno when would that change. And if I take in my mothers interpretation the sooner that change happens the better lol.. not really I guess if I have my way that is. My man supports me too for the same you know :) .. hmm well nothing as attractive as you might think. But to me he is much more attractive and dear than any other person in my life and could never be replaced.
DADDYKINZ I LOVE YOU!!!


Yep my papa aka pop jo aka daddy jo aka dadda (has quite a few names to his credit doesn’t he).

Usually children make their fathers their best buddies. Well I don’t think I had ever shared that casual a rapport with my dad. He is a friend but not a “buddy” (dunno how do I explain that any better but I guess I could get the message across). Having inherited most of his traits, obviously we have had our share of clashes. For one thing both of us have that stubborn streak. As far as I recall once we hadn’t spoken to each other for weeks together even though we stayed under the same roof. That when I had barely turned 11. Had it not been my mother’s insistence of locking us out of the house for a week if we continued our tryst any further, I guess it would’ve taken us months to even say hi. That apart from the many strange battles of wills I’ve had with papa. Strangely we never had many verbal fights, a privilege I just share with my mum. With dad well many a times I don’t need to even speak (yep I do manage to stay quite at times you know…maano ya na maano :P). Just coz we are so similar by nature my dad understands my silence more often than not.

A man of few needs, dad’s dearest wish is to run off to the hills and immerse himself into meditation and the Almighty. Strange for someone who most of his life was surrounded by the most exotic materialistic things available on the face of this earth. And yet the battles and ups n downs my dads faced leaves me in awe. Yeh I know it’s a cliché (but then clichés are clichés coz they stand true in case of many ryt?) well then just like millions of kids round the world I too look upto my dad. Seen him face tough situations in life and yet smiling and sailing through the whole thing.

But having said all of this, papa has always been too emotional. In fact this very friendly, understanding and emotional nature of his has made him a buddy for most of my cousins. But personally I call him an emotional fool. He is a Cancerian and I am a Capricorn. I guess that really does make me many a times impatient towards that emotional side of his. Sorry dadda for hurting you with that impatience for not being able to reach your level of emotional superiority. All because of this fool of a practical brain of mine which never allows me to understand.

A guide someone who recognized my talent to write and encouraged me to go ahead. A supporter to all the decisions I made respecting them and treating me as an adult always howsoever erratic I sounded. A diary to whom I could open upto and speak to bluntly about many topics which exist under the sun (one of my favorite being the time we discussed as to why arranged marriages are better than love marriages).
Thanx dad for involving me and trusting me to make decisions for the family. For taking my opinion on most matters even when I hadn’t even touched my teens. For letting me take any course in my life and trying and finding out all the positive factors for that decision of mine. For showing me the fact that take precautions before the occurrence of any disaster and once the loss has occurred cheer up and think that you never owned any object like that or that whatever happened was meant to happen and would be of advantage to you.


Love you for everything.


…….~ ~ **HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA** ~ ~ .......


(13th July 2007)


Tuesday, July 10, 2007

A Soupful of Years..

A tear in your eye and a smile on your lips. That bittersweet feeling, of leaving a beautiful past and yet looking on, in hope for the unknown future. Taking a difficult decision for the right even though it tears your heart apart.

We have all passed thru various phases in our lives. Been hurt and healed simultaneously. Many a times, especially as teenagers we think it’s just us who experience hurt or injustice. We think twice before saying something or sharing our thoughts, fearing that worse would come from the same. Plus our worse fears of being publicly humiliated or pitied leaves us keeping our secrets to ourselves. Little do we realize then that the same inhibitions, fears and stories are being lived by many just like us.

And then we need a friend….

Unfortunately I never did think much of myself as a teen. Was an introvert for most of my teen years. I took comfort in books then. Hung on to them as my best pals. And then there was this one series which really took me away and made me forget my life. Just as a bowlful of chicken soup is something an ill person needs most, my hurt and confused soul needed those dollops of helpings of the “Chicken Soup” series. I guess there were many like me who empathized with those little stories. Each just leaving you with that weird feeling of wondering how on earth did those thoughts you kept in the innermost part of your heart have been so clearly bared out by some stranger living in the other end of the world.

Am sure many shared the same relationship with this particular series like I did. Many times I thought of sending my story. But something always held me back. How I wish at least I would’ve written and preserved my thoughts then. I of course know those stories still and yet I could never replicate that helplessness I had then. And without that it would be useless. For really the essence of these stories were the intensity and honesty of emotions. Well then that’s the past. And I really thank “chicken soup” for helping me sail through those years. Not easy really, but then at least those stories had never let me feel lonely and alone. I always knew that there was someone out there who suffered just like me or even worse and in some strange way of my own it helped me heal. For those who have read them, I trust they’d know what I have been trying to convey and for those who haven’t well your missing something beautiful the soul series is there for every phase of your life. Just go and pick one up for yourself. I hope you would love it as much as I did.

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